Mothers: Tell your daughter you're pretty.

My one-year-old daughter is in that stage where she attempts to repeat everything I say. The other day, I was thumbing through a catalog and she heard me exclaim, "Ooh, pretty!" She grinned and repeated—“Ooh, pri-iy!" It just tickles me to death to hear her repeat words back to me with such clarity and conviction, so I couldn't help but encourage her over the next few days. "Bug, can you tell the doggy she's pretty?" "Gee! Gee pri-iy!"

In our culture, we put a whole lot of emphasis on pretty. Because of this, as mothers, we want our daughters to feel pretty. When my little bug gets out of the bathtub and sees herself in the mirror, I always catch myself saying, "Who is that pretty girl? It's you! You're such a pretty girl, Liv!" Until recently, the impact of those words never really occurred to me. I just felt that I was encouraging my daughter because, after all, don't we all want to feel and believe that we're pretty?

My sweet little Liv. She's very "pri-iy!"

This morning, an interesting TED Talk came across my news feed. It was titled, "Why thinking you're ugly is bad for you." Bad for you? I thought. Well it's not a good thing, but is it really bad for you?

In the 12 minute lecture, Meaghan Ramsey discusses how feeling ugly negatively effects all of us, right down to test scores and job placement. The truth of it is, because our culture puts so much emphasis and effort into aesthetics, when we feel ugly, we feel less valuable, and so we don't perform as well. As I watched the video, I thought about my little girl. Of course I want to change the world; of course I want pretty to mean less, or at least something different. But for the next twenty years, as she's growing up and she's impressionable to her peers and how they see her, what can I do to prove to her that she's worthy—or, in modern words, "pretty?"

All of my parenting books tell me that my daughter is a sponge. That she will observe the world around her and what she absorbs will form her personality. And, above all, she will mimic how my husband and I live our lives and see and treat ourselves. So, if I don't think I'm pretty, will my little girl believe me when I say she's pretty?

"Mom, stop it, you're embarrassing me with all this talk about how pretty I am."

One thing I love about working with mothers on boudoir sessions is that giving them a confidence boost, showing them how incredibly beautiful they are, will spill over into their everyday lives. When I was growing up, I never heard my mother compliment herself. She would always agonize over being fat, wrinkly, or some other aspect of herself that she hated. And so, though I was always thin and "pretty," like most girls, I still nit-picked at myself. I still hated my tummy and my crooked teeth and when I looked in the mirror, those were the first things I saw. I have to wonder—if my mother had told me she was beautiful, would I have had a different idea of beauty?

Food for thought, ladies. Happy Monday! Do something awesome this week!

Bou-whaaat? // Tulsa Oklahoma Boudoir Marathon

If you follow my Facebook page or subscribe to my newsletter, you’ve probably heard the news by now: I’m coming to Tulsa for a boudoir marathon!

Many of you are right there sharing my excitement that there will be a boudoir marathon in Oklahoma this spring, but a few have asked in the same breath—“I’m excited, but what exactly is boudoir?”

In short, a boudoir session is a day of... diva. You get to sit back and relax while you are treated to an hour of pampering by the hair and makeup artist, then when you are all dolled up and feeling like a million bucks, you get to jump in front of the camera and have that feeling documented so you can keep it and show it off forever! First, let me show you a short video of my last boudoir marathon so you can get an idea of just how glamorous and fun these events are:

Here are a few questions I have been hearing a lot of—and, of course, their answers!

What do I have to wear for a boudoir session?

Nothing.

I'm just kidding... but really! You don't have to wear any certain thing. You can choose to go the traditional lingerie route, or maybe a loose fitting sweater with boyshorts, or a little black (or white!) dress. I fully encourage you to get creative with it! What you wear is entirely up to you, but it should be something that makes you feel comfortable and pretty or sexy or beautiful--whatever look it is that you want to achieve. We will go over wardrobe during your session planning meeting and pick out some great options for you to bring that are tailored to your style.

What can I expect the day of the marathon?

First of all, you get to show up to your session comfortable--no makeup, no tight clothes, no worries! Feel free to get to the (beautiful private downtown Tulsa) location a little early, snack on some gourmet treats and enjoy a glass of wine while you wait for your turn with our fabulous stylists.

The stylists will already have a pretty good idea of what look you're going for after I report back to them from our session planning meeting, so you don't have to worry about making too many decisions the day of your session! Just sit back and enjoy while somebody else does all of the primping for you.

Once you're all dolled up, we'll go through your outfit selections and have a look at the location to pick out what we want to shoot. Then, we have some fun! During your private photo session, we'll blast your favorite music and I'll direct you into poses that show off your favorite features and minimize the things you're not so crazy about.

Once your session is over, you don't have to run! You're welcome to hang back and relax with the other girls while they get ready, too! One of the best things about participating in a boudoir marathon is the "girls day" vibe. You'll not only get a gorgeous private photo session, but you'll get to enjoy some time to just hang out and chat with other fabulous women throughout the day.

What if I want something other than what's offered in the package?

I have many fine art quality prints and products available in addition to the products that come with your package! You will receive a full product list during your session planning meeting and I will show you samples of everything that is available so you can get an idea of what you might be interested in. About a week after your session, we will meet back up and I will unveil the finished images for you to select your package items. At this time, you will also have the option to add on anything else you might want.

Do you have more questions for me? Head over to the Facebook event and post them on the wall, or you can contact me directly! I can't wait to see you at the marathon, Tulsa! (If you haven't booked your session yet, you can snag your spot at this link.)

xoxo
Emily

Tacoma Boudoir // An Unforgettable Experience

I love creating beautiful photographs. I love sitting down with a fresh image and perfecting the little details. I really, really love the creative side of my job. But you know what I love even more? Delivering an unforgettable experience.

Not every photographer in the world will agree with me on this, but I firmly believe that great portrait photography is about 25% technicalities and 75% personality. Personality encompasses a lot of things: The style of the image, the style of the client, and the relationship between the photographer and client, to name a few.

This is especially important in boudoir photography. The idea of a boudoir session can be pretty uncomfortable, even to the most confident woman. Being in front of a camera with little clothing on is a very intimate and vulnerable experience. You can’t do that with just anyone. You really need to have a good relationship with your photographer and be comfortable with her as a person before you can have a truly successful boudoir session.

I always try to build a relationship with my client long before the session takes place. I want my clients to know who I am and know if I’m a good fit for them before they commit to a session with me. I try to make sure all of the important questions are asked before the session is scheduled. Sure, the photography questions are important—what type of photography are you looking for? Why do you want to do this session now? What do you want to do with your portraits?

But other questions are important, too. What makes you feel sexy? What does your opinion of yourself look like? What about your style, your interests? Knowing these things will help me make your session 10000% more comfortable than if I only asked what you want.

One thing that I think is so important in boudoir, and especially in a marathon-style boudoir setting, is pampering! Showing each client that I truly care about her comfort and want her to have fun is so vital to every boudoir session. Beyond that, I love letting my clients know how much I appreciate their business and, especially with boudoir, their trust in my work to create the art they want. I always want to go above and beyond and create an experience that far exceeds the value of a portrait session!

So, what can my boudoir marathon clients expect on January 24th? Well, I don’t want to give away ALL of my surprises, but here’s a little sneak peek!

I can't wait to show you all my passion for the boudoir experience! See you on the 24th!

Yours,
Emily