Since announcing my boudoir model call, and especially since announcing my open boudoir marathon yesterday, there’s one thing I’ve been hearing a lot of: “If only I looked more _______.” Toned. Skinny. Like I did before I had kids. Like a Kardashian. Like I did when I was 22.
Girls. Listen to me. I know the word "model" can be intimidating, but I can promise you this right now--I do not want a room full of Kardashian lookalikes on the 24th. I love me some daytime drama, but that's not what I'm looking for. Yes, this is a "modeling" marathon. No, that does not mean I want fashion models! I want real women in front of my camera. And I promise that I will make you look as good as you feel on January 24th (which, by the way, will be damn good).
I’ve always loved fashion and beauty magazines as much as the next girly girl (which I’m somehow not… seriously, ask Megan Bourque if I was wearing makeup at our boudoir marathon planning meeting…), but they leave a bad taste in my mouth, too. I know my way around Photoshop better than I know my way around my own house, and that’s putting it mildly. So, can I spot a liquified waistline or a slightly-perkier-than-humanly-possible booty? As my grandma would say, you betcha.
I’m sure some of you have seen the videos and the incredible before-and-after Photoshop gifs floating around the internet. At least weekly, I see someone pin or link an article about the excessive use of Photoshop and how it's ruining our self esteem. So, if we're all aware of this, why are we still beating ourselves up?
Ladies, please hear me out: You do not have to be sculpted to be beautiful. At least, not to the people who matter. I know we hear this all the time, but honestly, it's time for a reality check.
Do yourself a favor: ask whoever's opinion you value the most (hopefully yourself, but you could also ask your husband, your boyfriend, your best friend, etc.) what they love about you. This has nothing to do with sexuality; it's about true beauty and self-worth. I can promise you that the first thing that comes to mind will not be "that booty" (though it may be on the list). I know what my favorite thing about myself is: my drive. I love that I work hard and that I've finally learned to stop worrying about failure. So, if I were to have my portraits done right now, that's what I'd want them to capture. A strong, driven woman. Not a nice set of tatas (although, not gonna lie, bonus points if the girls happen to be on the perky side that day).
I think there's a lot of misconception about boudoir photography. Many women think that boudoir is simply a celebration of the body--particularly, the ideal body. Let's take a step back. The very definition of boudoir is "a woman's bedroom or private sitting room," or "room where a lady may retire to be alone," from the French word boudoir. To me, boudoir photography should be an intimate portrait of a woman's best features. Often, those features are her confidence, passion, ambition, strength, or grace. That is what boudoir photography should portray. And when it's done right, no matter what a woman's body type is or how much clothing she is or isn't wearing, she. Looks. Sexy.
My point is, your task as a boudoir "model" is not to look like you belong on the cover of Maxim. Hell, you don't even have to wear lingerie! All I need you to do is come in knowing what makes you the woman you are. If you have a clear idea of who you want to be on film, we can make a beautiful, compelling portrait. And really, that's what great boudoir is all about.
Own it, ladies!
Yours,
Emily
PS - Here is the original image from the ad above. We're all guilty of faking it sometimes.